Its strange because earlier in the day, before the apparent I'm-moving-out-dinner, I had been discussing w/my other roomies what their plans were regarding staying/leaving. Prior to the dinner, both seemed definitive in their decision, but now it seems as if both are planning on moving out, which leaves me in an interesting position: find 3 new roomies, find 2 roomies and split the rent 3 ways, or split the rent 2 ways (we have a 2 floor, 4 bedroom 2 bath house). I really don't want to move. I'd rather just stay in one place until I know a little bit more about what I'm planning to do with job, location, and NG. On the other hand, having to deal with a revolving door of roomates and always being the one left to clean up stuff and hold their things until they are ready to pick them up from "storage" is also motivation to find a place of my own. I still need to think about what to do. Average going rate for a decent 1-1 is at least $1400. For that, you get no parking, no amenities, and a hole punched in a wall where you can shove a bed.
This conversation naturally lended itself to a what-are-we-doing-with-this-whole-LD-thing discussion with NG. I've actually been ok with LD, but until we are in the same city, I'm not going to be able to know are experience a lot of things that most "normal" couples do. I guess we could go this way forever--it's not bad, but it could be better.
We came to the conclusion that we would both look for jobs in the other's city. I think my chances of finding something that fit my skillset will be more difficult in DC but I will try anyway. He will do the same. We gave it a timeline of approximately 1 year, or when his lease is up in December to see where we are or to make some kind of change that both lands us in the same location.
Ugh. I'm sooo stressed. They say that there are 3 things that you are always in search of in Life: better job, better love, better location. It's as if I'm searching for all three at the same time and its making me loco not knowing or having any sort of stability in either direction. I want to find another job for certain, but when or what that will be, I don't know. I have also thought about taking some time off from working in general. But again, I don't know how/when/what. And then ever present is the living situation. Do I stay? Try to find a new roomate? Find another place? Move? Put my stuff in storage and travel?
I don't know. And its driving me crazy.
Sidenote: I had a dream about 2 guys from back in high school. I have no idea why they were in my dream or what I was even dreaming of. I cant really even remember one of the dudes faces except I recognized him, and I knew he was from high school. This afternoon, prompted by both my dream and my boredom at work, I went onto my high school's alumni page and found one of the guys in my dream. Man, what happened???? He looks so different, old, and his face is like 2x the size of a normal human. Weird.